How to Know if a Man Has Genuine Feelings for You

by Elise Wile Google

    Unless you're a mind reader, it's difficult to discern what's going on in another person's head. Even if he tells you, his words may or may not be truthful. As with many other situations in life, actions speak louder than words. A man might tell you that you're his woman, but that could mean that you're one of 10 others who he dates -- or it could mean that he loves you. There are a few steps you can take to help you figure out the intentions of the guy who has captured your heart.

    Give the relationship time. On his website, psychiatrist Fredric Neuman advises, "If you want to know how someone who proclaims love is likely to feel three months from now, you have to wait three months to find out." Some people may make genuine proclamations of love but not feel the same way even hours later, says Neuman. Time will tell if the feelings your guy expresses for you are the real thing or just a temporary infatuation.

    A guy can say that he's really into you, but that may not be the case if you find yourself always doing the pursuing or making sacrifices, says physician and author Lissa Rankin in a September 2012 article in "Psychology Today." When you go out to eat, does he take your preferences into consideration? Try to discern what would happen if you stopped trying to make the relationship work, advises Rankin. If you believe your guy will hang around even if you don't bend over backwards trying to meet his needs, chances are his feelings are genuine.

    Listen to the words the guy uses when he's talking. When he talks about the upcoming weekend, does he say, "I'm going to take you out to dinner," or "We should go out to dinner Saturday night"? Using pronouns such as "we" and "us" demonstrates that he thinks of you as a part of his life. Because he is unlikely to be consciously aware of subtle differences in his speech, observing how he talks is a good way to gauge his true feelings.

    Sometimes your own feelings can tell you more than an analysis of someone else's behavior. Rankin recommends asking yourself how you feel when you're around the guy you like. If you're jittery or guarded, your subconscious may be picking up on something that your conscious mind has missed, such as subtle body language that sends a contradictory message to what your guy is proclaiming. Although you don't want to live by your emotions, paying attention to feelings can be a key to figuring out why you are uneasy or mistrustful in a relationship.

    About the Author

    Elise Wile has been a writer since 2003. Holding a master's degree in curriculum and Instruction, she has written training materials for three school districts. Her expertise includes mentoring, serving at-risk students and corporate training.

    Photo Credits

    • Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty Images