Yelling can become a set way of communicating in some families, whether family members are in good moods or bad ones. Some parents may wonder if yelling is a normal part of teenage development or if a teenager's yelling has gotten out of control. You may be able to turn down your teenager's volume by shifting your approach to her.
Yelling Frequency and Environmental Causes
While teenagers may raise their voices for any number of reasons, not all teenagers yell at their parents. Some teenagers may resort to yelling in rare cases, while some do it frequently or avoid it altogether, according to KidsHealth. A teenager may feel that he is not given enough independence or freedom to live his own life, which may lead to more arguments with his parents, says KidsHealth. An agreement to let your child handle day-to-day affairs, like when to do his homework or what clothes to wear, may ease household tension and reduce yelling.
Family Influences on Yelling
A teenager may learn to yell because others in the family do it, according to Women's and Children's Health Network. If your child must compete to be heard, it may cause resentment or anger. Teenagers may also yell back at parents as a way to level the playing field, or because of fear and intimidation. Changing the family's approach to problem-solving, such as talking out problems calmly, may create a safe environment in which your teenager feels free to speak instead of yell. If anger is getting the better of either of you, agree to discuss a problem later and separate for a while before the problem escalates, advises the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Underlying Contributors to Yelling
Some teenagers may resort to yelling as soon as a situation begins to get heated. Problems with depression or anxiety may make a teenager more irritable, according to KidsHealth. Anger management problems could also be responsible for a teenager who frequently yells. Arrange a calm time to discuss your concerns with your daughter. You may want to say, "I am concerned that you may not be feeling happy. I love you and want to know if there is a way that I can help you." Showing compassion for your child's feelings, and avoiding criticism of your teenager's past actions, may help the family treat underlying causes of your child's anger, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. A doctor can help a teenager get treatment for conditions causing irritability.
Additional Help for Yelling
Some teenagers may not respond to family changes in communication or treatment for underlying conditions that may cause more irritability, like depression. A family counselor or therapist may help your child learn more effective ways of communicating and handling anger, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Sessions with a trained professional may be able to help your child address any underlying problems or resentments he has with his parents.
- Women's and Children's Health Network: Yelling
- Healthy Children: Staying Cool when Things Heat Up
- KidsHealth: Why do I Fight With My Parents So Much?
- KidsHealth: Talking to your Parents - or other Adults
- KidsHealth: Why am I in Such a Bad Mood?
- KidsHealth: Taming Tempers
- Healthy Children: Improving Family Communications
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